EDUCATING OUR CHILDREN
"Educate the child according to his way, even in his old age he will not
turn away from it" (Proverbs 22:6).
Because of our many sins, in this generation when yirat shamayim (awe of
G-d) is greatly diminished, then anyone who still has a spark of yirat
shamayim within him must fix a sure place for his offspring that Torah
and yira should not be forgotten from them. He must fulfill the words of
Solomon, the wisest of all men, who said, "Educate the child according
to his way, even in his old age he will not turn away from it." Educate
them when they are young to have yirat shamayim and to learn Torah, as
our ancestors were accustomed to do.
Do not destroy the time of learning. The Torah prohibits new things.
Anyone who changes is at a disadvantage....
The main thing is to accustom them when they are young to good character
traits: to honor father and mother and all those who are older than
them, to have mercy upon the downtrodden, not to conduct themselves with
pride and haughtiness, to greet everyone with "shalom" and to relate to
everybody unostentatiously. Train them that their eyes should always be
forward-looking, but they should look to benefit and assist their
friends and their enemies, and learn to disregard the shortcomings of
their friends.
If a person does not train his children in their youth to these traits,
by the time they are older they have almost no free choice in these
matters anymore.
There are many foolish parents who are lenient with their children,
allowing them to pursue all kinds of foolishness. They justify it by
thinking that the children are still too young for strict discipline,
but in the meanwhile they have allowed bad traits to become instilled
within them. Afterwards it will become difficult for them to abandon
these habits because they will have become natural to them. Therefore, a
wise person, whose eyes are in his head, will take care to educate the
children when they are young because then good habits can take root
within them.
Consequently, there is another important rule in education. Every parent
must take care to keep his children away from bad friends. Rather
accustom them to speak as little as possible. If he does this, then
everyone will recognize that they are holy seed and take pleasure in
them.
(Sefer Divrei Emet)
During the First World War many Yeshivah students were exiled to Russia.
After the war, when they returned to Brisk, the Brisker Rav suspected
that during their stay in Russia many of them must have heard things
that were not kosher. Therefore, he did not allow his sons to speak with
these youths who had returned from Russia.
Similarly, when his daughters studied with their friends, he would stand
behind the door to listen to them. He did this although every minute was
precious to him like the holy of holies.
(Leshichno Tidreshu)
