EDUCATING OUR CHILDREN
ANGER
Parents are obligated to educate their children from an early age not
to be angry or severe or anything like it. As soon as they are old
enough to understand, it should be made clear to them that these traits
are iniquitous.
It is well known that the traits of anger and severity are to be found
among little children even more than among adults. This is because
their intellect is not yet developed, and they do not have anything
else to hold these emotions in check. For this reason, if a quarrel
breaks out among them, they would kill if it were possible.
For example, let us suppose a child makes a small fence from pieces of
scrap wood. Then a friend comes and breaks his little fence. His anger
will immediately burn. He will come to his father crying and screaming
as if he had been killed. If the father is intelligent and has
understanding, he will know that the entire matter is foolish. He will
say, "Calm down, my son, be still. What did he do to you? There are
many little pieces of wood lying around. Take them, and make a better
fence, and it will be even more beautiful than the one beforehand."
If he speaks calming words like these to his son, then the child will
himself feel that the whole thing is foolish, and he will immediately
restore friendly relations with the other child as well....
On the other hand, if the parent is not intelligent, but foolish, and a
person who does not consider or care about what will be with his
children, then he will behave in an entirely different way. In the
context of our example, such a person will immediately begin to
investigate his child. "Tell me, what did this awful kid do to you?
Tell me, and I will go and beat him." The parent may even go to do
this, and then the quarrel will break out among adults. May G-d have
mercy.
Furthermore, in this way the parents themselves destroy the character
of their children. When the child is older, at the slightest
provocation, he will immediately begin to yell and curse and hit,
whether with strangers or with his friends. The bad habit will have
become natural as a result of bad education. In addition, his life will
not be a life, as Chazal have said (Pesachim 113). There are three
types of people whose life is not life, and one of them is a person
with a bad temper. He will grow older with a hot temper, anger and
severity towards everyone.