EDUCATING OUR CHILDREN
In this column we have been warned several times to keep a close watch
over the company and friends of our children. In truth, this warning is
applicable to everyone, young and old alike. A person must be very
careful not to associate with bad people, and this is especially the
case for children.
The author of the Chayay Adam also wrote a sefer called "Bet Avraham".
In section 21 the gaon writes about several calamitous losses which
ensue when a person makes company with evil people.
Joining company with wicked people who are heretics is "a root that
bears gall and wormwood" (Duet. 29:17). It destroys faith, and it were
better for a person to be accosted by a carniverous lion and bear than
to meet wicked people. Thus it is written, "A bear robbed of her cubs
should meet with a man rather than a fool with his folly" (Proverbs
17:12). The wild animal will only kill his body, but the wicked company
of heretics will kill his soul and waste his portion in the world to
come.
Shlomoh warned, "My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent" (ibid.
1:10). Do not enter into any discussions or arguments or questions and
answers with them. Just say to them, "I do not want your opinions." It
is better for a person to eat bread and salt than to join company with
wicked people. Woe to their souls, for they betray G-d. They cause evil
to themselves, and even to their forefathers already in the grave.
Even if you see that they wear tefillin and do mitzvot, do not join
company with them at all. They are just fulfilling the customs of their
fathers, and they are embarrassed to throw everything away. However,
they are worse than an apostate. The disgrace of the latter is revealed
openly. Certainly you will not take him for company. But the evil is
already planted in the heart of the former.
Also, you should not join company with wicked people, even if they
believe in G-d. It will destroy the service of G-d which we are
obligated to perform. Although a person may be perfect in his service
to G-d and in his opinions, if he joins company with wicked people,
then they will destroy his worship, and especially if he does business
together with them.
When I was fourteen years old I traveled to yeshivot. According to the
custom, before the journey my father, my master, may he rest in peace,
blessed me. He said, "My son, you are young and impressionable. Shake
my hand on it that you will only make friends with those who worship
G-d."
I shook my father's hand, and thank G-d, I was able to fulfill his
instruction. However, there were a few weeks when I was journeying that
I found myself in company that was not good, and I almost lost my way.
G-d in His mercy saved me from them right away.
Just like joining company with wicked people loses and destroys faith
and Divine service, so joining company with righteous people and those
who serve G-d strengthens faith and worship....