EDUCATING OUR CHILDREN
A MOTHER'S TEARS
A woman should be scrupulous to pray morning, afternoon and evening. At
the end of her prayers, her main supplication should be for her sons
and daughters. She should ask that they become people who fear G-d, and
that her sons should succeed in their Torah study. The main merit of a
woman in the world to come is accomplished when her children serve G-d,
do His Will and fear Him. When she is in her eternal home and her
children have fear of G-d in their hearts, and they study Torah and do
mitzvot, then it is considered as if she is doing all these mitzvot in
her lifetime, and this is one of the most supreme rewards in all the
world to come.
(Egeret Teshuvah, Rabbenu Yonah, 79)
When a woman gives charity, she should pray in that same moment with
clean hands that her children should become people who fear G-d, and
that they should succeed in Torah and mitzvot. The prayers of a person
are especially acceptable when they are doing a mitzvah.
(ibid., 80)
Lighting the candles of Shabbat is a mitzvah obligatory upon women. At
the time of lighting a woman should pray that her children should
emanate the light of Torah. Prayer is more acceptable at the time when
a person is doing a mitzvah, and on the merit of Shabbat candles, which
is light, she will merit to children adept in Torah, which is light, as
it is written, "Because the mitzvah is a candle, and the Torah is
light..." (Proverbs 6:23).
(The commentary of Rabbenu Bechayay to Parshat Yitro, on the verse,
"...Thus shall you say to the house of Ya'akov" [Exodus 19:3], quoted
in the Mishnah Berurah, 263:2)
It must be said that merit does very much, and prayer does very much.
This is contrary to what people think when they say that teaching and
educating youth in Torah, mitzvot and the way of G-d is only dependent
upon the father. They say, further, that one who grows up with his
father will grow into a respectable person because his father will
teach him beneficial things, whereas this will not be the case for
someone who does not have a father or who grows up far away from him.
However, this is not the way.
We have seen many people whose fathers and mothers left them, yet they
became perfect sages. Also, many have grown up with their fathers, but
they did not learn from their fathers' good deeds or absorbed their
ways. This is because it depends upon merit, and supplications to G-d
to give offspring who are righteous tzadikim serving G-d, who will go
with Him, and ascend levels of perfection and adeptness.
(The commentary of the Alshich to I Samuel 2:12)
When the old copy of Psalms which belonged to the mother of the Chofetz
Chaim, the tzadeket, was brought to him, he was very moved and began to
cry. He said, "Do you realize how many tears my mother spilled before
G-d unto this book in order that her son should become a good Jew?"
The gaon Rabbi Eliezer Man Shach said that a special merit is required
in order for a book to succeed and be accepted by the public; and
sometimes it is accomplished by the tears and supplications of the
author's mother.
The Kehilot Ya'akov said that sometimes we see a great talmid chacham
and tzadik who has come from a very simple home. This is because one of
his grandmothers had poured from her heart tears and prayers that her
descendants should merit to Torah. If this did not help for her sons,
then it helps for her grandchildren. The first generation that issued
from this grandmother had not yet seen her grandchildren. They thought,
on the basis of their near-sighted vision, that her prayers were
useless and lost, G-d forbid. In the end it became clear that no prayer
goes unanswered. If it was not answered immediately, then it will be
answered in the time of her children or grandchildren.
(Sefer Sichot Chaim, and see further in Chayay Olam, Pt.1, Ch.28, which
was also written by the Kehilot Ya'akov)
